Travels with The Rayman

To Whom It May Concern,

We are still planning to return the boat tomorrow but in light of everything that is happened, we thought we ought to give you a heads up before our arrival in the morning.

As I am sure you are aware, things can happen when you charter a boat.  I’m sure you’ve heard your share of stories.  And so it was with us.  Stuff happened.

It started with Tom tweaking his back.  Now, we don’t think you bare any responsibility but if you would kindly arrange for a stretcher to be at the dock tomorrow morning that would be dandy.  He hasn’t been walking very good.  So, almost everyday we threw him overboard and let him hang from a rope on the bow so he could stretch his back out.  He was really coming around but then he got frisky and tried to clean up some berry juice on his hands and knees.  That set him back and he was really suffering even with the bottle of Alleve and everyone’s valium on board until he discovered that if he rested his head at the foot of the bed rather than the head, he could grab the open hatch rim and pull himself up.  Of course, the rim was broken in this endeavor, but, I am sure under the circumstances you will let that one go.  The berry juice, incidentally, was scrubbed up by Pat but it only stained a bit and because we saw other stains on the salon floor, we can only assume that you will consider this average wear and tear.

We would like to suggest that you get a gauge for the water tanks.  They caused us a great deal of inconvenience and, and dare I say, pain.  Most of that centered around the Assassin/Dave/purser/Ray.  He was showering one evening and the water ran out.  There he was in the delicate position of having to yell for help in the nude and wait until a remedy could be put in place.  Being sensitized by the knowledge that you can actually run out of water, he was forever running toward the bow to check the water levels.  Then he would run back and report the status to the crew-in-waiting so they could deliberate for an hour or so before deciding whether more water was needed today, tomorrow, this port or that port.  But I digress.  Today he hit his fourth toe (this little piggy has none) and literally bled like a stuffed pig.  There was blood on the bow, blood on the stern, blood on the side decks.  Band-aids were applied.  It’s a good thing Pat brought an emergency kit with gauze etc., or you might have a suit on your hands.  You really do need to provide a water gauge.  By the way, we went to great lengths to clean up the blood.  Hopefully, we got it all.

We thought you should know that the small bits of blood on the wall of forward cabin port side, are what are left of the mosquitos we had to kill.  I mean, really, it would be quite helpful if you would spray for bugs.  On that side of the boat, there was a mosquito killing of 5 or more each night once the Assassin figured out where they were hiding out.  Now, given that most other passengers had less incidences, we can only assume you may have forgotten to spray that area.  He even got mosquito blood on his Tilley because he used it to swat at them.  We certainly hope the blood comes out.

One other area of concern is the slippery nature of the floors.  The Assassin slipped last night as he was rushing downstairs to gather up the wind scoop when his left leg flew up the air and he came down hard on his right knee after performing a half gainer on the way down in the space of let’s say, a cardboard box you may have received a small floor lamp in.  The only thing the crew knew of this gymnist maneuver was a scream they heard from the writer of this epistle.  Having witnessed this fall, the writer got a case of the vapors and had sit down to re-group (there may have been wine involved in her recovery).  Much Alleve was administered along with an ice pack and now that he has separated his nail from the cuticle of his fourth toe of his right foot, his knee is not hurting as much.  But really, this accident could have been avoided and we are holding you personally responsible because of the unsafe floors.   Also, if you could arrange a taxi to the Bougainvillea Medical Center, we would like to go there for first aid on our way to the airport along with more Alleve, Advil, motrin, iodine, and a steroid shot or two.

So, you can see there is enough fault to go around.  So we’re just thinking that when we bring the boat back, you hold us harmless and we’ll hold you harmless and we’ll all part friends.

See you tomorrow.

Dianna

Communications Officer and Anchor Light Lighter – Caty Wampus

Just thought I would poke a bit of fun at Ray and Tom.  There were exaggerations, I took literary license.  But, if you pardon the pun, you get the drift.

Today we went to see the Rhone, a sunken ship off Cooper Island.  The water was a bit rough and Ray and I were the only snorkelers.  It was beautiful.  The coral was in better shape.  Then we motored to Cooper Island mooring field and tied up just before the rain came.  And we can’t forget Deliverance.  There is a boat here named Deliverance.  They have cinnamon rolls, brownies, fruit, ice, ice cream.  They’ll take your garbage.  What a great business.  We all stood in the rain visiting with the two guys at the helm.  We even bought a bottle of wine for before dinner cocktails.

We have done a remarkable job of using just about every single thing we bought.  Lunch today consisted of crackers, spreads made with cream cheese and ranch dressing, cream cheese and chipotle sauce, three apples, some chips, jalapinos of the pickled variety, lettuce, slices of lunch meat, zucchini, yogurt.  The only thing we had left was some cookies that weren’t very good, some couscous, some rice, and a couple of cans of diced tomatoes.

After Deliverance left, we had added some brownies, cinnamon rolls, three bananas, a bag of ice and a bottle of wine.  We’ll polish all those things off by tomorrow morning.

Oh, I forgot to mention that we went shopping today.  Bought some really cool t-shirts and Ray found an appetizer plate and bowls that all match.  I didn’t get to see them because I was being undecided about what t-shirt I wanted so he just picked them out and the lady wrapped them up for travel…and well, I’m sure they are fabulous.

One more night.  Yippee.  We’re all fantasizing about clean sheets, towels, air conditioning, a long, long shower, toilets that flush without priming them.  It’s time!

I’m counting.  Last night was sticky and warm with very little breeze coming in thru out hatch.  And I am so ready to be off this boat.  Nothing personal.  It’s just that I see the light at the end of the tunnel and I’m wishing it was Saturday morning at 8 a.m.

It is interesting to imagine what it must have been like in the days of Sir Francis Drake and the boys.  Heading off to sea with little more than a compass.  No nautical maps.  No depth finders.  An absolute lack of certainty about just about everything.  No weather channel either.  I mean how would they know how much food to take, water to drink?  I’ll bet they didn’t have the following conversation.  “Hey, captain.  I see land off the port”.  The captain replies, “Well, let’s keep sailing around the area until we eat all this food and use the water, mate.  Urgggggggg…can’t be wasting anything, urggggggggggg.  And then we’ll go ashore and see what we can pillage.”   I can’t tell you how many times we have “reassessed” our water and food.  It is a hoot.  But our crew is good.  They excel at planning and preventing waste which is a good thing.  It’s just funny and one of those things where you just have to be here to appreciate how funny it really is.

But I digress.  The captain was a very important person.  His job must have been about managing expectations, negotiating uncertainty, charting the course.  Good thing they already found the new world because our explorer gene has probably gone dormant.  We can’t leave home without a Garmin.  An expected time of arrival.  Our phone to alert all who care that we are on our way, that we are part way there, that we’re just down the block and arriving shortly.

So, yes, those brave soles that faced the ocean way back when were amazing people and you realize it and appreciate it even more after a trip like ours.  And I’m feeling like a bit of a woose  (spelling is suspect), for pining for a clean bed, a 10 minute shower, a toilet that is connected to a sewer system…all the things we’re use to having but can’t have aboard this boat.  Did I mention air conditioning? That would be helpful too.

So, today we will attempt to get a mooring ball at Monkey Point so that we can snorkel.  Then it’s on the another snorkeling venue that features a sunken ship.  Then it’s on to the next night’s port and Ray and I will attempt to fix a dinner that everyone will find some satisfaction in eating.  Pork tenderloin grilled, rum cooked beans, previously frozen fruit that we will call a fruit salad, and applesauce.  M&Ms of the peanut variety for dessert.  And wine.

Then we will count our zzzzz’s and then it will be Friday and we’ll snorkel, eat out, pack up everything, do some cleaning, count our zzzzz’s and then we’ll return to the boat to Conch Charters and head for the airport.  I hope we don’t gross the other passengers out with our “boating” odor.  Just think sticky, sweaty.  Rode hard and put away wet might be a better description.  Then when we touch town in San Juan, Ray and I will rent a car and head for the rain forrest where we will spend 2 days at 1500 feel where the air will be cooler and our bedroom won’t rock.  And the fish will be replaced by birds as the things to watch for.  Bring it on.  I’m so ready!!

The rest of the crew will hang together for another day at the Sheraton Old San Juan.  Then people will start their journeys home.  Pat and Richard and we will meet up one more time and leave the following day.  Home beckons.

Wow.  What a day.

We snorkeled at Monkey Point and saw thousands of tiny fish in schools.  As you swam toward them, they would part magically and regroup out of harms way.  It was fabulous.

Then we went hiking amongst these huge boulders that tossed on top of one another in a haphazard manner.  It reminded of me the movie, 127 Hours.  Or was it 126?  Anyway, it was a bit tense but I tried, really tried not to think about if one of the boulders shifted, I’d be squished like a bug.  It was wonderfully different…sort of like Arches on the water.  Once thru the boulders, we entered a lovely small bay and cooled ourselves in the warm water by swimming around.  There was a stingray there but we didn’t see it as we didn’t have our snorkel equipment.  Couldn’t carry the equipment and hike thru the boulders because of the strenuous nature of the hike.  You needed both hands to climb up stairs and rocks.

Then we motored back to a mooring field near the airport on Tortola.  It was almost windless so we had bugs.  Ugh.

Ray and I had cooking detail tonight.  We marinated and then barbecued pork tenderloins.  I made bean with rum, jalapenos, honey, onions, garlic, catsup, etc.  And we served previously frozen fruit and applesauce and broccoli.  Oh, and then M & M’s for dessert.  Everyone was appreciative and a good time was had by all.

It was a really wonderful day except for Ray falling on his knee in our cabin.  He is now on a regime of Aleve and had an ice pack.  Another one on the injured list.  It’s easy to get hurt.  The boat has very slippery floors…like, who thought of that?  When the floor gets wet, it is even slipperier.  You’d think boat designers could build a better boat.  With all the space age stuff we have nowadays, how hard could it be to use a surface that is roughed up.  Don’t get me started.  It’s after 10 p.m. and it’s been a very long day.  We woke up at the crack of dawn and  remained busy most of the day.  Ah, life is good.

oday we traveled from somewhere to the next place.  Unsuccessful at snorkeling because all the mooring balls were taken, we motored to a port and here we are.

We’re back at Tortola which is the island next to Beef Island where we flew to 9 or 10 days ago.  Not much wind and I’m very disappointed.  Wind, I have learned, is a sailor’s best friend as long as it’s not blowing too hard.  Wind cools things off.  It propels a boat.  When it is hot like this, it is a wonderful treat.  Yes, wind is your friend.  But no wind today so we couldn’t sail.  So we motored for about 4 hours to get where are now.

Having arrived, we jumped in the water and cooled off.  Then Ray and Ruth and I went on shore and discovered how hot it was on shore.  And buggy.  But we found a great little market and bought some fresh broccoli and bananas!!  Life is good when you can find a few fresh items.  We are so lucky where we live.  Fruit and veggies and so easy to come by.  Unlike these islands.

The excitement was when we were leaving the dinghy dock, a pelican nose-dived right between our dinghy and the dock.  There was only about a 4 foot opening but the bird did it.  Up close and personal.

So, Ray is now being called Dave by some of the crew.  And he is being called the anal purser.  And he is being called the Assassin.  Dave because the captain called him by the wrong name.  Anal purser because he acts anal from time to time, a side the others had not been privy to.  And Assassin because he is great at locating and killing insects.  Quite a resume.

Did I mention bruises.  We all have bruises.  You can’t help but get them on a boat.  You stub your toes, bang your leg, hit your arm.  It just goes on and on.  It’s bruise city.  Sailing is not for sissies.  It is physical and mental and emotional.  All the major food groups!!

Yesterday we bought some frozen fruit from a poorly equipped market and brought them back to the boat and put them in the “freezer”.  One of the bags got punctured and Tom discovered this early in the morning because there was juice on the floor and on the inside of the “freezer”.  Being frustrated by a bad back the entire trip, he decided to clean it up.  This really wasn’t such a good idea as the “freezer” sits just above the floor and is only about 3 feet tall.  The back got reinjured.  Not good.  And the juice stained the floor so Pat jumped down on her hands and knees and scrubbed the floor with special stuff.  Pat is like that.  She is an ace when it comes to cleaning.  And cooking.  And sailing.  She’s the complete package and a definite plus on an adventure such as this.

So…that was the excitement for the day.  Oh, we ate at a place called Myett’s Garden and Grill which was very good.  I was very bad because I ordered the lobster (grilled).  It was huge.  So big I couldn’t eat my veggies.  What follows are pictures of the above events.

Read down further.  A slight problem occurred.

A movie of the pelican show.  It wouldn’t publish so I deleted it.

Lobster before and aft.

Ray is on the bed with his feet on the ceiling.  I’m just saying.

Today we sailed back to Virgin Gordo and moored at another harbor.  The wind wasn’t as strong and so we had to motor some.  We ate lunch on shore and went grocery shopping for the rest of the trip.  It’s Tuesday and we turn in the boat on Saturday at 9 a.m. so coordinating the food so that we leave almost none is an artform.  It takes on a life of its own.  There’s dinner tonight, and Thursday night on the boat.  Lunch most days and breakfast every day on the boat.  So…planning is important.   We may have spent hours figuring out how to end the trip with nothing.

A boat moored very close to us and the people on board were friendly but they got even friendly when they jumped in the water and began a conversation which began with, “Where you all from?”.  We confessed we were from CA.  The man of the family announced they were from Florida.  “Where in Florida?”, we asked.  Well, some were from near Clearwater and some from Miami.  The tattooed man  had some of his family with him.  His wife had a strange accent.  She was from Germany, “The homeland” is how he described it.  When he found out that our captain grew up in Florida, he announced that he had grown up in the panhandle and nearly an Alabaman.  A redneck.  Then he announced that liked rednecks because, “at least you know where they stand”.  Then the conversation took a twist.  “Hey”, the tattooed wonder wondered, “What’s with that Schwartzenegger.  Cheating on his wife and keeping the woman under his roof for ten years.  And then he wants to tell me I can’t own a gun?  I mean it takes all kinds.  Him and Schumer and Feinstein and all the others telling me I can’t own  a gun”.  Now about this time in the conversation I’m wondering if there is some connection between the fatherland and jews and guns.  I mean the guy is stringing together a lot of stuff here.  And equating moral shortcomings and gun control is an interesting leap of logic, don’t you think?  I mean does he think that Schumer and Feinstein have kept love interests under their roofs?  And how are the two (love interests and guns) connected anyway?  If you have lovers, does that mean that you are anti-gun?  Well, about that time he swims back to his boat and things get quiet again.  But he certainly gave us a lot to wonder about?  All I know is that I’m glad he lives in Florida and not across a back fence from me.

But I digress.

We had chicken salad and garlic toast for dinner tonight and some good wine that helped us polish off most of the M&Ms.  Then we watched a slideshow of our trip thus far.

Before the tattooed redneck swam up, we talked about where we would go for the rest of the trip and what we would eat.  And when we would eat it.  There was some descension among the crew.  Who knows how it will all work out.

More tomorrow.

I’m lying in bed.  It’s 10:18 p.m. and it has been quite the day.  I think I’ll start at the end.

We almost had a mutiny on the dinghy.  When returning from dinner at Whispering Pines on the island of Anagada, it was very dark.  And our captain was very concerned about getting us back to the boat without hitting a sandbar.  He wanted to locate the buoys so  that wouldn’t happen but it is a very dark night and hard to see.  And the dinghy was full of 7 liquored up passengers that had just eaten 6 half lobsters which were slain on the dinghy dock at 4:30 this afternoon as we were returning to the dinghy from the ::::::::::bay where we had snorkeled.  .  And we were extra happy because it was my birthday party and a good time was had by all.

We selected this particular restaurant because Barry, who worked at the restaurant, had come to our aid as we ran aground because we got confused about mooring balls and buoys.  Really, it could have happened to anyone.  Most of the mooring balls…oh, never mind.  Suffice it to say that we were in dire straits when Barry came up in his dinghy and nudged us to safety (read deeper water).  Then he presented us with a menu from the restaurant where he works.  We were so grateful we told him we would eat in his restaurant.  And we weren’t sorry although Richard was worried that we’d be the only people there.

But I digress.  So, here we were in the dinghy and the captain was ordering Tom and Ray to locate the buoys so we’d know where we were.  They couldn’t find the buoys so the captain went along at about 2 miles an hour which caused great consternation among the crew.  So, we had shouting and disagreements all the way to the boat.  We sort of knew it was our boat because we forgot to light the anchor light (something you are suppose to do.  It’s a light at the top of the mast.)

It was too funny.  I was agreeing with the captain because I’m a bit of a kiss ass because he has our life in his hands.  The captain is responsible for everything.  You need to be friendly to the captain.  However, this opinion is not shared with everyone.  And “those people” were verbally assertive to the captain.  So, that’s why I said we almost had a mutiny on the dinghy!!

We went snorkeling today in a very shallow bay that had very clear water and coral reefs.  Quite beautiful except the coral doesn’t look healthy to me.  But what do I know.  The fish were nibbling on it here and there so I guess it must have been somewhat healthy.  Who knows.  Anyway, we had to hire a jitney to transport us from the dinghy dock to the bay.  On the way back, the captain lost his hat.  It went flying out of the jitney.  The jitney was really a truck with two benches in the back that would seat 8 “comfortably”.  There was no roof so that is how his hat escaped his head.  So, we got the driver to back up and the hat was retrieved from the middle of the road.  Actually, the captain was having a hard day now that I reflect on it.

Before we went to snorkel, we sailed from the Virgin Gorda (an island) to Anagada.  I mean.  We actually sailed.  The main sail went up then the jib.  It was really, really fun.  The wind was blowing so that helped a lot.  I got to steer the boat out of our harbor at Virgin Gorda and then I got to be at the helm as we slowed down to hoist the sails.  Fun stuff.  So, we sailed to the island where we snorkeled and had dinner.  Fun, fun, day.  Quite a special birthday for me.  Plus I got two serenades.  One at the top of the morning, over coffee.  And one at dinner with a whole bunch of other people in the restaurant joining in thanks to Tom engaging the entire restaurant.  Slightly embarrassed and oh, so much fun!!

And I didn’t get seasick!!!  in the boat or at the restaurant.  (when you’ve been on the boat for a time, and you disembark everything keeps rocking)

Just kept staring at the horizon.  That really did the trick.

I just imported some other pictures from the crew and thought you might enjoy them.