Higher than a Kite

Something to consider. We’re going 968kph in our 747 zooming toward Los Angeles. We just took off and they have already called for a medical practitioner. I have the menu selection to consider while they reboot the entire entertainment system…there is a glitch. Oh, I hope they get that fixed because they are showing Midnight in Paris and I’d love to see that movie again.

I’ve had my issues this trip but one of the more interesting has manifested itself in getting myself all tied up. Let me illustrate. To fly, I’ve been wearing jeans, a top, a scarf. The scarf is so the jeans and top don’t always look the same. It’s a fashion thing of sorts. Anyway, I’ve also been at times in charge of the camera which dangles on a strap. And the passports are kept in a passport carrier which hangs by a strap as well. Oh, and my purse. It has a very long strap so that I can easily push it aside or toward my back as circumstances dictate. So…the international flights have caused me the most problems. As you can imagine, I’ve got a bit going on with those straps and when passing through security issues arise. At one security station, I took off my purse which I forgot that I had donned before my jacket. The order should have been camera, jacket, passport holder, scarf and then purse. But in the heat of the moment I did camera, purse, jacket, passport holder then scarf. Well…everything was wrapped up with everything else. The straps got, for lack of a better description, intertwined. I’m quite sure even if I tried I could not replicate the situation I found myself in….which required me to drop my purse completely to the floor and step through it to extricate myself. And while doing that to unwrap the passport carrier from around the camera…twice and untie the scarf that had formed a knot. How did I do it? I have no idea but my feelings got a bit hurt when the guy on the other side of the conveyer belt said something to the effect that he had never seen anything quite like it to which I replied, “Just call me Houdini.” In the meantime Ray had moved away from the scene in hopes of avoiding himself any embarrassment. It was a hoot. And after further reflection, I have decided that I remind myself of Inspector Cloisseau (or however you spell it. Peter Sellers.) Except that I’m an unintended comic genius.

So…at every opportunity to go through security I tried to avoid performing this fete again to various degrees of success. This a.m. was my best performance yet…but I did notice that Rayman wanted to hold the passports, the boarding passes and anything of any consequence. That may because as we were boarding the shuttle at the hotel to go to the airport, the driver came out of the door of hotel holding up a wallet and asking if it belonged to anyone. IT WAS MINE. I slithered up and took possession and asked the driver where he found it. “On the floor in the lobby”, he replied. Well. Rayman just looked at me. Well, okay, glared at me. This required a hug from him after we arrived at the airport. Reassurance is very important after such a major screw-up. Oh, and we gave the driver a very nice tip!!

So…resolutions for the next trip.

1. Take the small camera that fits IN MY PURSE. It does not require a strap.

2. Leave my coat at home. I’ll wear a sweater that will remain on my body until I’m strapped in for take-off.

3. Forget the scarf.

4. Delegate the passport holder to Rayman.

5. Take a purse that zips shut so that things don’t go missing.

Poor Rayman. I’ve had so many snafus on this trip I fear for my freedom. Having me committed might be one of his options. Or perhaps refusing to leave town with me again. Even I have to admit I look hapless and hopeless at times. He is a dear for not raising his voice….although he may end up with an eye problem before all is said and done because of excessive eye rolling.

Oh, well. They are giving us drinks and nuts as we approach the international date line. Guess I’ll close for now and enjoy the ride. God knows I paid enough for it.

We made it home!! We are so happy to be here…the sunset was fabulous, the weather warm, the taco from Taco Temple divine…and my bed beckons. Yippee!!

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