Travels with The Rayman

At long last, we have almost succumbed to the wired world.  I don’t choose my words lightly.  It did feel like a near-death experience for us.

When you need everything new, what way do you approach the problems of the wired world?  We decided we needed a TV first.  So, we bought the TV. (see previous blog for the details of that task).  Then we ordered up the DishTV.  We chose Dish because we are familiar with them and they will allow us to suspend our service for up to 6 months for a $5/month charge.    Dish provides the signal for the TV. 

We then ordered up the wifi using a different provider.  We choose Xfinity because they are the only one that services our block.  It took several calls to figure that out.  We need the wifi when we are not here because we decided we should have a home security system.  We are in a mixed neighborhood.  That’s another way of saying, the house on our right is close to being a teardown.  The house across the street and up one is a definite teardown right now.  Please see below.  When you have a home security system, wifi is important. 

I’m presently perched on my chair trying to get the home security system to find our wifi.  In other words, I’m in password hell.  So many passwords, so little time.  Everything needed a password pronto.  The only people that provided me with the passwords I thought up on the spot, was Xfinity.  All the others are a blur.  I’m running through them now.  It looks bleak.  I just noticed some of the neighbor’s names for their wifi.  They include the following:  Jeeves, TheSoundofMusic, Beer, SilverBarley, dingding, awfullyslow, and PanicRoom.  What does this tell me?  I need a better name than FamilyRoom.  But I am still locked out from my needed wifi connection by the security system.  OMG.  This might take all day.  I’m going to shout Uncle and call their customer service number (which is always humiliating because they ask for your password which is unknown).  They may require me to reset everything.  That’s okay….I’ll write it down. 

So…I was able to reset my password with the wifi.  It took 45 minutes and I had to provide everything but Lincoln’s birthday.  Amazing to me that I was successful so I plowed forward to try to get the Vivinet to connect to the wifi.  It’s been an hour and no-go.  What the heck.  I’m going to try to reach them…again.  Sigh.   I reached out.  And what I discovered was that I was attempting to populate the field with the wrong password.  Shocked.  Shocking.  Shocked.   Having been told the error of my ways, I got it to work!!  And I was able to sign into Netflix in the record breaking time of a gelding rushing out of the gate at the Belmont.  Okay.  I perhaps am taking liberties with the truth.  Firstly, I put in the wrong email address (we have three between us).  Then I tried to delete one letter but instead deleted the entire field.  Third time was a charm and victory was realized. 

And that’s when we tuned into Ozarks.  My interest was piqued by my friend, Nancy, when she moved to, well, the Ozarks.  This promised to provide hours of seat-of-your-pants viewing.  It has it all.  Sex, drugs, hillbillies (some with brains), money, Mexicans, cartels, money laundering, infidelities, and great acting.  What more could a woman want? 

Tomorrow we leave for the coast of Oregon on our trek homeward.  First stop Newport.  Or as they say in Virginia, Newpert.  Intend to view it as our vacation because what we have been consumed with has been anything but.  Did I mention that I am sick of shopping?  Need a break.

OH, and before I forget, go see The Wife with Glenn Close.  A movie for the times.  It’s swell.  Saw it tonight in downtown Portland.  Then went to a Jewish deli that was a great choice for an after movie sandwich.  Really wasn’t very hungry because my cousin’s first born, Ali, and her Spanish husband, Bernat, hosted us for breakfast this morning.  Spanish tortilla, scrambled eggs, pastries from the bakery.  It was so much fun to be with them, and Kristen and her three children, and Larry.  Sue missed it because she was waiting for their handy man who was coming to replace their garbage disposal.  Larry made bastard fizzes and Emre, the boy twin, got a bloody nose. There was no causal relationship…just what happened.  After the meal, we retreated to their lovely back yard which includes 5 monster tomato plants that the kids couldn’t resist… so they picked green tomatoes.  And a hammock that they all clamored to swing on.  Don’t we all wish we had their energy?  Why walk when they can run?  Why sit when they can move?  Whirling dervishes, these part Turkish children are and we love them to pieces.  If I had to take care of them for a day, I’d need a week to recover. 

A few words about Portland.  It is a small city with a big heart and many quirky things.  We love it.  Women sport purple hair.  Saw a man with a ponytail wearing a Scottish get-up (did he have undies under that skirt?).  Many rings through noses.  Tattoos abound.  City streetcars with Ikea ads plastered all over them.  Interesting shop windows.  Interesting shops that you don’t see everywhere which is refreshing in a world awash in strip malls with all the same stores…Bed, Bath and Beyond, Home Depot, MacDonald’s…you get the picture.  The sameness is at once predictable but entirely boring.  WalMart has not replaced everything, it turns out.  Even my home town of Paso that sported stores unique to the place…now has Target, Chili’s, Pier One.  And Walmart.  Sad.  But don’t get me wrong.  Portland has those too.  But it also has neighborhoods, districts, that are populated by stores with unique names like Gizelle, Gin and Denim, Fire and Stone.  And the food trucks.  Every ethnicity seems represented.  It is true.  It makes me feel old in a way and vibrantly alive in another.  Can’t wait to return and have all our friends up for a visit!! 

Maybe by next summer, I’ll be able to find my way around.  This kid is lost 95% of the time.  I can’t get my barings.  Or is it bearings?  At any rate, if I think we should be turning right, invariably we need to turn left.  Could mystery microwaves be scrambling my sense of direction?  I’ve never felt so lost.  I swore my cousin’s house was on the opposite side of the street as ours.  It’s not.  Lost in space.  That’s me.  And that’s that for now.