Travels with The Rayman

On-line shopping is so convenient.  I’ve been doing it for years because we have few shopping possibilities here on the central coast.  Our only real department store closed years ago and it has fallen upon me to continue my buying habits by logging on instead of dropping in.

Really, the only problem I have had is once on ebay, a woman sent me something that did not remotely look like the article pictured on ebay.  A complaint was filed and resolved.  Neat and tidy.  A hassle?  of course, but there are always hassles along the road of life.

So, you can understand that went I needed some new bras, I turned again to the internet and found a retailer DBA HerRoom.com   They carried my brand.  They carried my size.  Fabulous.  So for the past year, I have been ordering a bra now and then as I threw an old one in the garbage.  Now, I don’t know about you ladies, but I buy expensive pedestrian bras.  They go with me to play golf.  They go with me to farmer’s market, to wine tasting, to the kitchen.  Sturdy, utilitarian are two words that come to mind.  So when I saw a picture on HerRoom of a bra of the brand I favor in a blue and white animal print, it grabbed my attention.  What a fun looking contraption.  I need one of those.  Just for fun.

Size was selected and the animal print bra was in the cart.  But wait, for a few dollars more I could save on shipping.  You know that game, right?  So, I ordered a pair of panties.  Size was selected and placed in the cart.  Presto magic.  My new garments were on their way.

A few days later, my unmentionables arrived.  Only the fit wasn’t so great.  Oh, well.  I know women who order shoes in a couple of sizes on the internets and then return those that don’t fit.  Perfect.  I ordered another bra in another size and another pair of panties.  After they arrived, I selected the size I wanted and waltzed down to the mailbox store to ship back the two items that were wrong in size.

A few days later a credit appeared for the panties on my paypal account.  No bra.  Well, that must be an oversight I decided.  So, I started up an on-line chat where I was told that the warehouse would need to be notified, bra found, credit given.  A few days went by but no credit appeared.  In the meantime, I was enjoying my blue and white animal bra.  Comfortable and stylish.  What’s next, I wondered?  The red hat society?

The credit was not forthcoming.  I called and spoke with Karen.  She listened to my story and surprise of surprises, she told me she would have to contact the warehouse so that they could locate the missing bra and credit my account.  She promised to do it right away.  I waited and called back again.  Spoke with Sandy.  Same thing happened.  She assured me the warehouse had been contacted and they would be getting back to me.

Now, most of you know me as reasonable most of the time.  Patient most of the time.  This was not going to be one of those times.  And it came down like this.

One ringy dingy.  Two ringy dingies.  “Hello, this is Vanessa, how may I help you today.” (Name is completely made up to protect the guilty).

Me:  this is where I explained again my situation ending with, “I’d like to get this resolved today.”

Vanessa:  “Well, ….(here is where she gives me the same baloney about the warehouse), and so we’ll have to wait for the warehouse.”

Me:  “I have been waiting for the warehouse for 10 days.  I need to speak to a supervisor.”

Vanessa:  “I can help you.”

Me:  “No, you can’t.  You just told me I must wait for the warehouse and I’ve been waiting for the warehouse for 10 days, SINCE 6/17.

VANESSA:  “Well, maaaaammmmm (deep Texas drawl as she is speaking from Texas.)

Me:  “I want to speak with a supervisor.”

Vanessa:  “I am the supervisor.”

Me:  “Really?”  (great incredulousness obvious in my tone of voice).

Vanessa:  “Yes, maaaaaammmmmmm.”

Me:  “Well, then I would like to get my money back.”

Vanessa:  “Well, maaaaammmmmmm.”  I need to contact the warehouse and they have to verify the weight of the package you returned to see if, in fact, you returned the bra.  I can’t just take your word for it and give you a credit.”

 

Me:  “ YOUR COMPANY HAS BEEN CHECKING WITH THE WAREHOUSE FOR 10 DAYS, GOD DAMN IT.  I WANT TO SPEAK WITH THE SUPERVISOR OF THE WAREHOUSE.”

 

Vanessa:  “There is no need to swear at me.  I’m not swearing at you.” (at this point I am under the impression that this line has been used a lot, it came out so easily).

Me:  “OKAY FINE.  I WANT TO SPEAK TO THE SUPERVISOR OF THE WAREHOUSE.”

Vanessa:  “You can’t.”

Me:  “WHY?”

Vanessa:  “He is unavailable.”

Me:  “UNAVAILABLE?  WHY IS HE UNAVAILABLE?

Vanessa:  “His shift ends at 4 p.m. and he has gone home to his family.  (at this point I am picturing HerRoom as a low slung older house in Houston in a middle class neighborhood with a garage filled with underwear.)

Me:  “THEN I WOULD LIKE TO SPEAK TO THE OWNER BECAUSE I AM REALLY TIRED OF THE RUNAROUND HERE.”

An aside – Vanessa’s co-workers must hear me screaming because one of them says to her, “Why is she mad?”  Vanessa answers, “I don’t know why.”

Me:  “YOU DON’T KNOW WHY I’M MAD?  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?”

Vanessa:  “I don’t have to listen to you.”

Me:  “I WANT TO SPEAK WITH THE OWNER.”

Vanessa:  “You may not speak with the owner.”

Me:  “WHY?”

Vanessa:  “She doesn’t speak to people.”