Mexico, Oh, Mexico

Yesterday morning we awoke to a wake up call at 5:20 a.m. We met in the parking lot at 6:00 a.m. for a shuttle to the airport. The first day of the trip is a hassle. You have to schlep your golf bag, your luggage, your carry-on to the terminal location. Then you get to stand in line for an hour…No, I don’t why it takes them such a long time to check us in…it’s very annoying. Oh, I know. Nothing is self-check. The computers are slow. There are 5 clerks and 2 of them are designed to check in first class (all 8 passengers) and 3 to check in the other 114 passengers.

Really…this is one of the reasons I hate flying. Then when you get on the airplane, they announce that there is a bathroom just for first class and 2 bathrooms for all the rest. Grrrrr. Does that make one bit of sense? It falls under the classification of inhumane. What other species does this to themselves on purpose? And it is a friggin charter flight. GGGRRRRR. And then they stuff in the 114 people into teeny tiny seats with just enough leg room for you to easily eat your knees. You can barely breath. And of course, we were on the hotel-airport shuttle that had to pick up 3 passengers from another hotel and then drop them off at Hawaiian Airlines, which left us toward to the back of line so that the only thing left was middle/window seats by the time we reached the counter. Dorothy, the lady in the aisle seat paid dearly for that aisle. I was up to bathroom twice in a 3 1/2 hour flight.

But I digress. We got to Mexico in one piece. Then we had to claim our bags, our clubs…and go thru customs. Once that was done, they hurdled us on a big bus and drove us to the resort. Yippee. The hard part was done.

We ate dinner and everyone turned in early…it had a been a very long day. And we’re old. So, when we walked thru the door, it was like really noisy in our room. We were on the 2nd floor above the hot tub and pool. OMG. We knew we were in trouble when we noticed the earplugs sitting on the tables by or bed. It was really noisy…but I was too tired to complain. I’d deal with that tomorrow, I mentioned to the Rayman. And then I jumped into bed.

This morning the phone was ringing and ringing. The room was pretty dark. Where was the phone? Oh, right next to me. “Are you guys going to play golf today?”, Tom inquired. “Yes.”, I replied. “Well, it’s 7:40 and we’ve had breakfast and we’re heading to the course. See you there.”, Tom intoned. OMG. How did we oversleep like this? Oh, I know. We didn’t set a clock and we didn’t ask for a wake-up call. I staggered to the bathroom and brushed my teeth. It tasted strange. “Oh, my, god, Ray. I just brushed my teeth with Vagisil”. Ray said, “Well, your mouth probably won’t itch the rest of the day.” OMG. It was awful. My mouth tingled. I put some Colgate TOOTHPASTE on the brush and scrubbed. We threw on some clothes and headed out the door. Ran to the buffet, stuffed down some food and ran to the shuttle. Got there in time to putt a few balls and spit. I really wanted to spit.

So…I think I have stumbled on a new advertising campaign. You know how baking powder has one than more use? Perhaps Vagisil does too. I shot a great round of golf today. Must have been the Vsgisil. Sore tooth? Try Vagisil. On second thought.

The golf course was terrific. Lots of sand, water, and more water. Part of it ran right along the ocean and we did not see one person on the beach. Pancho was our caddie. He and I did quite a few high 5s. Fun in the sun. And dare I say…it was fun to play on a course where the grass was like carpet…a far cry from what we are use to at home.

But I digress.

When we returned it was time to make the dinner reservations for 14 people. These hotels have several (in this case, 2) restaurants that are fancy. You must reserve. So after watching the woman behind the desk flip pages in a book, call up someone on her walkie-talkie, print out a seating chart, then flip more pages in that same book (about 40 minutes), I walked away with reservations and headed for the elevator. Pushed L and the door closed and the elevator went nowhere. Got out, got back in and tried it all again to no avail. Got out and about that time a couple came up and I informed them that I thought the elevator was broken. “Well, let’s try it again.”, the man chirped. So we did. I explained that when pressed L and the elevator went nowhere. “We are on L.”, these people blurted out in unison. OMG. They were right. What a ding-a-ling. Our group thought that story was worthy of the blog. I’ll report. You decide.

So, that was our first full day in Mexico. I won’t even go into trying to get another room because ours is located above the hot tub. There wasn’t anything fun about that…other than we learned that one room was unavailable until housekeeping took it upon themselves to “fumigate” it thereby rendering it unusable for 2 days. Uhmmmmmmmm.

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