How I missed my birdie

Yesterday was Super Bowl Sunday.  We played golf in the a.m. with friends and then we gathered for the game.  Much wine and whining ensued.  Rayman had the Niners written off before the half and then after the Raven’s ran back the kickoff for a TD, I was convinced.

But I digress.

We returned home with too much wine in our tanks.  Rayman said he would load my clubs into the other car.  He did.  Then he summoned me.  I immediately knew something was wrong.  It was “that” tone of voice.  Well…I forgot to zip up my bag and golf balls fell from my bag and started down the drive way into the street.  It was after 8:30 p.m.  The night was the dark and the moon was yellow…isn’t that a song?  I threw on my jacket and hat and trudged outside.  Couldn’t see s#%t.  Jumped in the car.

Monday is garbage day here in the hood.  As luck would have it, four of the balls came to rest pinched between the wheel of the neighbor’s garbage can and the curb…four of them.  Too funny.  One was still unaccounted for yet if you had heard Rayman’s pronouncement (YOU DIDN’T ZIP UP YOUR BAG AND NOW ALL YOUR BALLS ARE PROBABLY IN THE OCEAN NOW) you would think like I did that 20 balls were on the loose.  Well, there were only 5 and now I had 4 of them.  I drove down to the bay.  No ball.  On the way back, I noticed a golf ball sitting in the front yard of the neighbor two houses down and across the street.  Holy mackerel.

This morning I had a starting time.  I arrived at the course (Dairy Creek) about 15 minutes before tee off time.  I opened the trunk of the car.  The cart was there, the clubs were there.  Where were my shoes?  No shoes.  OMG.  I ran to the clubhouse.  They had about 5 pairs of shoes, none my size.  Judy, one of our members, asked what size I wore.  9s.  She wore 8 1/2.  I borrowed her sandal golf shoes.  Then I went to get my tees and markers out.  I keep them in a pink mesh zippered “purse”.  NO TEES.  NO MARKERS.  OMG.  The pink “purse” was not in my bag.

Couldn’t go home.  Had a match scheduled.  So, I borrowed some tees and markers and headed up to the 18th hole as it was a shotgun start (that where all players start on various holes at the same time).  I stretched once or twice and teed off.  I almost got a hole in one.  However, I didn’t.  And I didn’t make the ridiculously easy putt either.  And that’s how I missed my birdie.

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